It has been a great honor to have organized and help sustain queer and trans play party gatherings for almost 12 years. My play parties were born from a need in (some) queer and trans People of Color (POC) communities, as was the group that started it all. These early steps into my sexual liberation journey created a positive domino affect for future works. Shades of Poly (SOP) came about for the same reasons that the play parties emerged. I didn’t see enough POC within this “sexual alternative world.” Groups and play spaces were predominantly White and lacked racial consciousness. I came out as polyamorous and felt alone. Every group I attended was, as I stated, predominantly White and or cis-male dominated. There began my venture into finding out why POC were not accessing those spaces or why White folks were not making those spaces accessible to us. Soon after embarking on my quest to find answers, I did what most of us do. I started my own group.
SOP emerged under the guise of Poly Patao Productions (P3). SOP was a social group in which queer and trans POC who identified as poly, eternally single, creepers, excessive daters, cheaters, non-monogamous, freaky and or kinky, came together for workshops, discussions and later on the play parties. I found community at SOP. We educated each other and grew together. After about 4 years of heading the group, I handed it over to group members. I was ready to move from social groups to more of a political framework. At that time, a lover and I began Revolutionstar.
Revolutionstar was a joint effort of my P3 work and her work. We worked together for about 3 years. In that time, we organized community events such as “Rev-Ho-Lution.” We created a series of educational classes, which combined sexuality and politics called “Poly-tics.” We produced play parties, we wrote articles and we organized several sexual liberation retreats called “Purge.” The work we accomplished was amazing. In the end, we went our separate ways and continued doing our individual work and I continued to concentrate on P3.
Then and now, my work expanded to include performances, film, blog, anthology writings, workshops, and lectures. Throughout all of the political and artistic work, I worked hard to maintain the play parties. In the beginning, the parties were POC-only and later on, intentional multi-racial play spaces. At first the parties were sporadic, then monthly, seasonal and eventually stayed at every other month. The parties have cycled from “The Play Party Named Desire,” to “Afternoon Delight,” to “PHUK IT!” These play parties have held anywhere from 15 to 60 people. They have been multi-racial. They have ranged from $10-$25. They have catered to people 21 years of age to 67. These parties have enjoyed a wonderful array of body types and gender expressions. Damn! I’m gonna miss these parties.
It has been an absolute joy to organize these parties. I’ve often stated that my parties where a wonderful gateway to other events and parties. It sort of broke you in and allowed for more. I simultaneously catered to the “newbie” and the expert. In my guesstimation, over 75% of participants had never been to a play party, were traumatized by an all White party or had been to a play party but never played. Throughout the years I have been told that my parties created comfort, ease and allowed people to explore. I am so happy that I had a hand in satisfying many people. LOL! Unfortunately, as all good things, this too must come to an end. Just the parties, not the satisfying! It’s been a long run and now my energy will refocus. I plan on re-working my website. I’ll be trying to concentrate more on producing my documentary and hopefully writing a book or two. Although I will not organize the bi-monthly play parties, I will continue to organize “Four-Play,” the traveling play party.
I want to thank everyone who has ever come to one of P3’s parties. Your enthusiasm and support has meant so much to me. I’m so happy I was able to walk with you, if only for a moment, of your life long sexual liberation journey. Thank you for entrusting me to try and create a safer space for you. Thank you for letting go and having fun in ways you have never done in public. Thank you for understanding why these spaces were so much more important than just a place to fuck. Thank you! I hope to see you all at sporadic parties and of course my final play party PHUK IT! November 10, 2012.
Sexual Liberation for all!!!